We now have several different options for What To Do About Moving. In fact, What To Do About Moving is really all we talk about anymore. It is getting to the stage it is even developing a personality. Indeed, it is taking on such epic proportions I would not be surprised if What To Do About Moving developed form and came walking into the room and sat down at the table with us.
Our house is now for sale, and for rent. We’ve got two possible houses we may move to. We may be able to do a part exchange. My head is spinning. However I do have to acknowledge that it is a wonderful thing to actually have all these choices, and something I should be very grateful for.
Sadly all these choices are driving me to distraction. I am a creature of habit, one who likes to have all her ducks in a row and know exactly what she is doing. My diary is organised months in advance, and spontaneity is a concept I have struggled with for most of my adult life. I realise now that part of the reason for this move may well be that God knows I need to be more flexible and this is the divine lesson in learning to do that. The trouble is I am fighting the lesson, and until I give in and learn it, nothing is going to move forward. So I am trying desperately to let go of a lifetime of controlling behaviour and acknowledge that God has all this in hand. Some days are better than others.
I’m learning a lot about letting go and trusting recently. We had a small gap in the guttering that runs round the roof of our house outside of A’s window which has leaked for the last couple of rains. G tried to find a ladder tall enough to fix it but no one we knew had one. As I am the lightest of the inhabitants of this house (except our cat Jake of course) I was volunteered to go out on the roof of the extension (which I hasten to add is anything but flat and is actually on one heck of an angle slanting – of course – down to the ground). The idea was I’d pull the guttering, which had obviously slipped, back into line. I was quite confident as I started out of the window in the study – and even as I set foot on the very slanted roof. It was not until I started to move towards the gap and had to navigate yet another slope in the one side of the roof that I started to get really scared. I turned slightly to get myself on a better angle, and noticed that two of our neighbours in the close behind us were watching me curiously. I smiled and tried to look confident, and once they had ascertained I was not suicidal, they left me to it. However, their curiosity only served to make me realise just how high up I was and just how silly a situation I had got myself into. Now I was well and truly frightened.
So I began talking to myself, using positive language to increase my confidence. Thankfully all my neighbours seemed to have disappeared at this point as a woman talking to herself on a roof could possibly cause some unwanted attention. Of course, doubts in my own ability began to creep in and all sorts of negative language started to work itself into my brain.
I confess, I am the queen of “get a professional to do it”. That is one of the reasons I call myself a professional housewife, because I believe we all have talents that we should be proud of and use. One of my talents is being a professional housewife. It is not guttering repair, or anything to do with heights. As I found myself teetering on the edge of the roofing tiles (which incidentally make a horrible slipping noise no matter how carefully you step on them) reaching up to pull the offending piece of guttering back into place, I have to confess I was petrified. I have never been so grateful to finish a job.
This experience has taught me some things however. There are not many tasks to do with my household that I will not at least attempt. I’m thinner than I thought (I fit through the window!). I have incredible balance. I can fix guttering. I’m a lot tougher than I thought. It has certainly taught me that if What To Do About Moving does develop form and turn up and sit down with us at the table, it’s one demon I’ve definitely got the guts to chase away!!